chantri, just chill. everything is gonna be okay... i keep telling myself that but nothing seems to be working out. its not getting better n better. worst...? maybe. is it gonna be like this forever? don't tell me so. please. never... no matter how hard i pray, no matter how hard i tried, n no matter how much i've cried, everything is still falling apart. there's no where else i can go. i'm stuck in here. i just wanna get away from all this for a minute. just ONE minute. can't i just have that one minute...? all these things that i've been wanting is all i don't want to need at all. n all i need now is a timeout. i don't wanna suffer anymore. i have no one to open up to. at first, i thought i can tell her everything. but there's just somethings that she don't understand. n now, i feel like she don't trust me anymore. fine by me. but i jut want someone to be here. someone... he's not a choice. n she... she... she just have somethings of her own. i don't wanna invade anyones privacy or anything. like people said, no matter how hard you try, sometimes u just won't succeed. everyday, i pray harder. i fake my smiles for everyone to know i'm happy. why can't i survive one day without a single drop of tear? i'm really trying to improve on everything i can. everythin that i'm able to. but there's just somethings i CAN'T. stop pushin' me 'round already. i just need your help. is that so hard to give. just this once. everytime i try to pick my self up from the ground. i just brokedown cuz' i kept thinkin' that i won't make it thru the rain. i won't be able to stand up again. i... i have nothing else to say... nothing seems to be helping. nothing can help me. i wanna leave this world if i could. bu before that, i just wanna see everyone. n everything.