I can’t wait till this year is over. I can’t wait till everything is over. I miss it there. More than ever. I miss my old friends, I miss my home, I miss the beach, I miss my LIFE! Yeah, I don’t have a life here. I’m just the third wheel for everything I do, to everyone I know, to everything I feel. I wanna go home…

I feel I’m not wanted here, not by anyone. Nobody understands. K has KT, J, KSR and basically the whole class in her hands, oh yeah, she dominated them. They come to me when they don’t have anyone. They hardly care about me… They do’t think about my feelings nor my thoughts. As I go through day by day here, I think, how am I gonna survive here till 2009? Till my tears dried off, my heart can’t take everything… It’s one burden I can’t lift off my shoulders. I can’t help but to feel isolated by them. I wish they would know, everything I feel, they way they hut me without even realising, the way they push me away every time I try harder…

I need help… I pray to God to ask for help, I know God’s listening to me, but how…? I’ve realised recently, I really do not have any way out of my troubles, my best friend, her boyfriend, I wonder if she knows I’ve only got her to support me besides Wihandro. Do you know? You’re my only hope for everything? I can deal with the stories about him, I can deal with everything except the things he do to you… but what am I? What am I to do things I’m not capable of? I would cry every night and think about everything that’s running on my mind, you know? And D, you’re my best friend if you haven’t noticed, I know you hardly read blogs but, this one, I need you to know. You are my best friend, but I just don’t treat you like one fully. I know I abandon you sometimes for the stupidest things, it’s because I’m so desperate that I forget everything important to me, you.

I smile for everything I do, it’s hard to hide every frown, teardrop and the pain I feel. I can onl hope for everything to get better, want them to know, that I need a life, that’s why I have to go back, not because I hate you girls here. I can’t deal with it anymore. I’m sorry…