OH, another thing I hate is to leave my last update an EMO update. :) So here I am, updating it, AGAIN. I went out for dinner at Jelutong just now. But wait, lets talk about lunch first. LOL, we went to Bayan Baru market to eat, my dad was like buying taufufah from this old man. And my dad, you know him, he wants to get rid of all the coins he had, so he paid the silly man with COINS. *sweat* I was laughing at my dad, then that old man started laughing along, and suddenly he was like speaking some Hokkien and started laughing even HARDER. I stared at him weirdly for awhile, then I laughed because he looked SO FUNNY. *XD* Then I thought how dumb I looked, and started laughing even worst. And he was like showing me 7 fingers ; I was blur. I assumed he was meaning I'm gonna get 7As for my PMR. *winks* Atleast I'd like to think so. *smiles widely*

Okay, dinner time. Jelutong, here we come. My gosh, along the way, I realised how unorganized Penang citizens are. There was one HUGE dumpster like in the middle of the road. *eyes wide open* And then, daddy parked his car at some filthy corner. I went down and landed on a puddle of disgusting water, God knows where that water came from but it was gross! I felt so geli. Anyway, I ate curry mee! My stupid brother spilt some soy sauce on his PJs. How awesome. *laughs* I realised I hate it when a girl uses *giggles*. It's so try-hard-to-be-cute kind. Why not just say HAHAHAHAHAHH or hehe? I think it's natural.

Okay, that's all. And oh, two things I need help on :

• Villeena needs a new phone ; suggestions please?
• Joe Vin wants a name for his band ; help that poor boy. :)

I hate it when I'm alone. I feel like I've got no friends and that I'm hated by so many people. I hate this feeling. It feels funny. It feels... Weird, you know? You knw what else feels weird? The thought of you not being good enough for a person you really care about, or maybe just a randomer that you don't even know his freegin name.

Am I not good enough? If only I have a mind of a guy, I'd know. What is it...? Should I change? Should I just be myself...? But you don't even notice me. You don't because there's so many other fishes in the sea. Am I ordinary...? I don't do predictable things, do I? Maybe I'm predictable in a way that I complain that I'm hungry every 7 minutes, or or maybe I whine alot about how things are so crappy even when they're not. But... I'm not predictable in any other way. Even guys that I fall for, they're not the kind that you can PREDICT.

I feel like I'm blind. Don't know why what the fudge but I just think I'm blind. Is it me...? Or is what I'm seeing real? I think, they don't love me for who I am. I suck at being myself because I'm good at altering myself so people would like me for what they want to like. It's just like... Mathematics, Linear Equation? It's simple. I wanna make both sides equal, so you alter one side, and then you alter the other. I'm blabbing. Anyway, I'm random.

I AM RANDOM. I'm not such an inspiring kinda person but you know, I'm easily influenced. I fall for someone easily, blame me for falling too deep but I feel horrible about myself. I don't get what I want, I DO get what I need, yes I do, but is it wrong to just WANT something or someone so badly? I'd give away anything for a scond chance. I'm not such a desperate person, honestly, I'm not at all. I just... This particular case. It just gets to me. It feels like my whole world's upside down, and I'm not even strong enough to fight half of it.

I'm not good at lying, but I'm good at pretending, I admit. But... I only do so because I want it to be... I want it to be TRUE. I'm scared, I'm stupid because I'm scared of reality and my future. I always think, "Oh my goodness, what the hell am I gonna do now?".

I'm pouring my heart out, and yet, I feel like nobody cares. I'm sorry, I trust you all alot, but... What if it's too much? I know what you're thinking... "Now you know how I felt, when I trusted you so much, look what you did to me". I love you, and you. But... I'm so afraid of losing you. I'm not insecure, I'm just scared. You're my everything, and I'm sorry that you are my everything.

p/s : You know you you all are, xoxo.

Oh, Villeena's talking about posting new stuff on her blog and my blog feels like it's dead. *pouts* Today's a boring day. BUT OMG, this morning, my drama made my DAY! I think P'Golf is soooo freegin ADORABLE in Love Beyond Frontier (Ubut Rak Kham Kob Fah อุบัติรักข้ามขอบฟ้า)*squeals* I found out about this lakorn by downloading Golf Mike's new song! *faints* Ying Rak Ying Jeb ยิ่งรักยิ่งเจ็บ. It's so awesomeeee. I'd rather not brag about it. I stayed up till 4AM to watch it! I'm also very awesome myself. *XD* Anyway, I seriously SERIOUSLY advice anyone who likes teenage love dramas to watch it, it's just... *wheeeee*

Okay, anyway, I'm leaving for Penang on Wednesday! To be honest, I really really REALLY will miss Seremban to death. *cries* Oh well, I was supposed to leave on Saturday which was yesterday, ahh, but I didn't get killed by any of those chipmunks, Wihandro and Villeena. *wipes sweat* Wihandro's been gaming ALL day! Whereas Vill and I, blogging. *:D*

Vill and I are planning a hangout but all the movies we wanna watch are freegin annoying. They're all not showing, I don't know why! We wanna watch The Rocker, cause Teddy Geiger's starring in it too. He's Mr. Hottie. *whooopie* But besides that, she's also sleeping over at my place with some other people, we haven't decided to watch smth fun. And since there are no furnitures in my house YET, we're all gonna sleep on the floor with matresses. *smiles widely* And she wants to 'pretend' that we're camping so we gotta like put up some stuff as our tents. *sweats*

My mum also wants to get new furnitures, so I had this idea for my room. *grins* I want it to be like Japanese style and stuff. I want evrything to be on the floor! My bed, my tables and my seats. *continue dreaming* Since my mum told me not to get a room set, so I decided to do everything separately. So we'll see how everything goes. I can't wait, I can't wait, I CAN'T WAIT! Oh, and btw, I want my curtains to be blood red with soft yellow walls! Hmmm, that's how I imagine it though, and I seriously doubt it'll turn out the way I want it. *sigh*

*screams* Oh yessss, recently, Kerrie and all the others made the sweetest SURPRISE farewell party for me before I leaveeeee! *smiles weakly* Well, I was surprised, I just didn't reacted like I was surprised. *boohoo* I was happy, I had fun. Like ALOT of fun. We played Pictionary and my team lost. *starts sobbing* It was hilarious though! We were barbeque-ing and Larissa was reading out some of the cards from Pictionary. We were screaming our lungs out. I'd never forget them, EVER! *smiles like a retard* Thanks alot you guys. ♥ you guys SO MUCH!

Okay, I gotta run already. Parents are nagging me cause I've been dominating the computer all day! *laughs* I love you all because you make me happy. VERY VERY HAPPY!

P/S : Wihandro, stop gaming de. *blek* Haha, no more emo days. OH, and I think I am a boring person. Piffs. XOXO.

ฉันรู้เธอรอฉัน รอฟังคำนั้นซักวัน
chan roo ter ror chan ror fang kam nan sak wan
I know you've been waiting for me, waiting to hear those words one day.

ฉันรู้ฉันมันรั้ง ดึงดันไม่ยอมพูดมา
chan roo chan man rang deung dan mai yom poot maa
I know I've been holding back, not willing to say them out loud.

ฉันแค่คิด ยังไม่ถึงเวลา
chan kae kit yang mai teung way-laa
I just thought it wasn't yet the right time.

ฉันรู้ว่าวันนี้ มันก็อาจจะสายเกินไป
chan kae kit yang mai teung way-laa
I know that today it's nearly too late.

แม้พูดดังแค่ไหน กลายเป็นไม่มีผู้ฟัง
mae poot dang kae nai glaai bpen mai mee poo fang
And that however loud I say them, maybe there's no one to listen to them.

ฉันไม่รู้ เธออยู่ในที่แสนไกล
chan mai roo ter yoo nai tee saen glai
I don't know which faraway place you're in now.

ได้ยินไหม ได้ยินไหม โปรดฟังว่าฉันรักเธอ
dai-yin mai dai-yin mai bproht fang waa chan rak ter
Can you hear, can you hear, please hear me saying that I love you.

เธอจะอยู่ไหน อยู่สุดฟ้าไกล เพียงให้เธอรับรู้
ter ja yoo nai yoo soot faa glai piang hai ter rap roo
Wherever you are, beyond the horizon, I just want you to know.

ได้ยินฉัน บอกเธอไหม ว่าคนคนนี้รักเธอ
dai-yin chan bok ter mai waa kon kon nee rak ter
Can you hear me telling you that I love you.

นี่ไงคำว่ารัก ที่เธอรอฟัง ได้ยินไหม
nee ngai kam waa rak tee ter ror fang dai-yin mai
This is it, the words you've been waiting to hear, can you hear them?

เพิ่งรู้ในตอนนี้ เวลาทุกวินาที
perng roo nai dton nee way-laa took wi-naa-tee
I've just realised now, and know every minute.

รู้ซึ้งในตอนนี้ บางคำที่แสนสำคัญ
roo seung nai dton nee baang kam tee saen sam-kan
I realise now how important these words are.

พูดวันนี้ เหมือนเธอนั้น อยู่แสนไกล
poot wan nee meuan ter nan yoo saen glai
Saying it today, when you're so far away.

ได้ยินไหม ได้ยินไหม โปรดฟังว่าฉันรักเธอ
dai-yin mai dai-yin mai bproht fang waa chan rak ter
Can you hear, can you hear, please hear me saying that I love you.

เธอจะอยู่ไหน อยู่สุดฟ้าไกล เพียงให้เธอรับรู้
ter ja yoo nai yoo soot faa glai piang hai ter rap roo
Wherever you are, beyond the horizon, I just want you to know.

ได้ยินฉัน บอกเธอไหม ว่าคนคนนี้รักเธอ
dai-yin chan bok ter mai waa kon kon nee rak ter
Can you hear me telling you that I love you.

นี่ไงคำว่ารัก ที่เธอรอฟัง ได้ยินไหม
nee ngai kam waa rak tee ter ror fang dai-yin mai
This is it, the words you've been waiting to hear, can you hear them?

พูดวันนี้ เหมือนเธอนั้น อยู่แสนไกล
poot wan nee meuan ter nan yoo saen glai
Saying it today, when you're so far away.

ได้ยินไหม ได้ยินไหม โปรดฟังว่าฉันรักเธอ
dai-yin mai dai-yin mai bproht fang waa chan rak ter
Can you hear, can you hear, please hear me saying that I love you.

เธอจะอยู่ไหน อยู่สุดฟ้าไกล เพียงให้เธอรับรู้
ter ja yoo nai yoo soot faa glai piang hai ter rap roo
Wherever you are, beyond the horizon, I just want you to know.

ได้ยินฉัน บอกเธอไหม ว่าคนคนนี้รักเธอ
dai-yin chan bok ter mai waa kon kon nee rak ter
Can you hear me telling you that I love you.

นี่ไงคำว่ารัก ที่เธอรอฟัง
nee ngai kam waa rak tee ter ror fang
This is it, the words you've been waiting to hear.

ได้ยินไหม ได้ยินไหม โปรดฟังคนนี้รักเธอ
dai-yin mai dai-yin mai bproht fang kon nee rak ter
Can you hear, can you hear, please hear me saying that I love you.

นี่ไงคำว่ารัก ที่เธอรอฟัง ได้ยินไหม
nee ngai kam waa rak tee ter ror fang dai-yin mai
This is it, the words you've been waiting to hear...