First of all, I'd like to wish EVERYONE Merry Christmas, since I was out of credit during Christmas Eve and Christmas itself. :s

Okay, now let's begin. Heeee.

I had an awesome Christmas! :D With Wihandro and his friends. It was nothing much besides going to his church and Gurney Plaza. Muahahaaha. They had singing and stuff at church, everyone was exchanging presents. I got something! :D From Niwen and her friends. A bookmark. ;) I'll put that to good use, seriously. Oh! And I met Wihandro's sister. :D

Ah, after that, we headed to Gurney to eat. It was... Honestly a SCARY ride. LOL. I was squashing Niwen along the ride. Sorry... Had lunch at Breeks! Wihandro ate this spaghetti and all, and there's like this two weird thing on top of it and I was like "What in the world is THAT?". Turns out that they fried like two batang of spaghetti. Haaaaha! Okay, anyway, Niwen went home after lunch, so there was like 5 of us left. The boys wanted to go to the arcade. Wihandro and Samuel was playing that Air Hockey thingie and the thing FLEW out of the table... Ganas people. -.-

Bla bla bla, then they went to play some Pool. I'll never forget the "PASS ME THE CHICKEN LEG!" Whoever created that, seriously hilarious! Got me laughing for daaays! The white ball kept going into the hole... And the black ball, and then the orange ball. Lalala, stayed there for a few hours, my gosh. And after that everyone went home leaving Wihandro and I. We went to a bread shop. He ate some flossy stuff and drank... o.O

Then la la and laaaaaaaaa. *smiles*

Then my mum came. Went home and guess what? Wihandro left all his presents in my bag! I wonder when am I gonna return them to him. Hmmm. But heeeeeeey, THANKSSS for an awesome Christmas because I needed it! :D You make me happy. *hugs!* Love you, SWEETS!

I still remember it clearly. Every single promise we made, every promise we've broken. Nobody said it was gonna be easy, effortless, tearless. It was you... You knew. YOU KNEW! And all you had to say was goodbye. It has always been unfair. I wanted to tell you how wrong you were, I did. But will you ever turn around listen to me again? I wish I could say "I'll be back to keep holding on to the promises we've made". I wish I could whisper to your ears and tell you what I want to feel. I want to smile, for every moment we've had, for everthing we've shared.

How would you feel if I'd done the same thing you're doing to me. You think lying is the worst damn thing but it really isn't. What you're doing to me IS the worst damn thing. I'd never dream of running away because I'd never make it to the end without falling. Without falling, and crying. It's stupid. You might probably be clueless right now. But think about it. Think about it really carefully, even if you don't want to care. Do you? For ever memory I've tried burning, the nightmare never ends, does it?

You can't say I didn't try. Nobody can. Because I did. I tried so hard, but in the end all my effort is shit because it has always been like me taking two steps forward to get knocked three steps back. But it's okay, because I've learnt to face it. I've been living with this nonsense for months. I'm practically imuned to it. I'm imuned to fake a smile every day of my life. My heart can't possibly been broken more than this. To you, our love was a huge big battle field. A battle of whose heart's gonna be broken first. Mine or yours...

You feel like you're trying to make it work by telling me we're still friends. But it's hurting me even more. I can't look at you without flashing our times we had together, I can't! I want to scream and yell for you but I can't seem to, why?! I want to be angry about this but I'm not. Because it takes too much effort and all I'm capable of is to cry out for you but you never seem to hear me out... Tell me, do you hear me cry every single night? I try ignore the fact that you're the best, I don't wanna think that you've always been my only one. I want to leave out everything that I feel for you... I really do, why isn't it helping...

You used to tell me "I'll be your love, I'll never make you feel alone". I feel like I'm lost and I feel like this night will never end. It's hard to hold on, is there actually gonna be a tomorrow...? You, you are blinding my way. It's forever and always you. You were my light... You were the air that I breathe. I just want you to see me smile, smile about something real. I want to be there to hold your heart, I want to be with you till you find the reason for love.

I want you to be there when I find the way, to the place where reality and dream sets at the same time and place. I want to find happiness with you. YOU. Just you... Because we almost made it and we can't give up. We just can't throw this away.

We spent almost a year of our life, almost fell to the deepest love, almost had each other but I guess that doesn't cut it. Months of laughter but we have never got the chance to make it feel surreal because we've always been apart. So far apart. "I almost forgot to say something else, and if I cant fit it in I'll keep it all to myself. I almost wrote a song about you today, but I tore it all up and then I threw it away..."

Just so you know, I'm still wishing my life away...
I'm still in love with you, damn it.