It feels funny today. Have I not realized that you’re gone…? You’ve left me, for good. You left me, without turning back, not once. Ten days of being apart, this is what I get. I remembered the time I said and asked “Hey, I miss you so much. Are you still awake? You haven’t been returning my calls lately. I’m worried, you know? And I feel miserable not talking to you like this… I’m starting to wonder if you still feel the same way too. Do you?”. No reply, of course. I really needed you that night. I needed you so badly.

You told me you love me, and that you’ll never leave me alone unless I do the stupidest thing that you can’t forgive, which was… nothing you could think of at that moment. The moment where we were so mesmerized, so in love. It wasn’t supposed to fade away like this. I held on so tight, because it has always felt like a roller coaster that never ends. But yet, the safety belts didn’t work and our joy ride crashed. But… how is it that I’m the only one who didn’t made it out that day, alive and happy?

All my friends say “Hey, you have to let this go…”. How? I don’t wanna let it go. I don’t wanna stop missing you. I don’t want you to forget who I am. And every little thing we had together. You’re always on my mind, and I doubt that it’s gonna go away any time soon. Yeah, it hurts to miss you but… I can’t help myself.

You know what I miss? I miss how you sound like every time I wake you up in the morning. I miss how you smell when you give me the warmest hugs. I miss how you lock your fingers into mine when we’re at the theatre. I miss how you think I’m a lousy student. I miss how you play with my hair when I lean on your shoulders in the library. I miss how you try to teach me Chemistry when I don’t understand a single thing. I miss how you stand one step lower when we’re on the escalators so you’d look shorter for me. I miss how we burn time by walking up and down the malls, waiting for our friends to arrive. I miss how you used to call me your wife and you were my Superman. I miss the late night phone calls & all the good night, sweet dreams and sleep tight wishes you give me every single night before we both go to bed. I miss the little countdown we do before we hang up the phone. And most of all, I miss the way you say… “I love you, super duper much”.

You meant the world to me, you really did. Now I regret every single time I said “Can’t…” when you say “Are you home? Can I walk to your place now?”. Who am I to tell you to love me again, right? But… do I mean anything to you? Have I been feeling all of that crap on my own all these while…? All my tears and joys, what do they make you feel?

I really want it to work. I want you back… I really do. I really really miss you. And I want you by my side. I’m scared of what to do next, because I need you. I promise, I’ll be more independent this time. I’ll work my way to the top, I will. I just… need your love and support. Give me a call, and tell me what I wanna hear. Tell me you still love me.

Please?